When it comes to relationships, I have been known to jump in. Head first and an optimistic heart – ready for the next adventure. And I know I’m not the only one.
I wouldn’t have it any other way. It makes for great passion and in the beginning amazing fun.
When he was into raving, I die my hear blue and grab a couple of glow sticks. If he’s into motor bikes, I find myself trackside cheering on my favourite riders. I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with being adaptable and open, I’ve had some much fun and never did anything I didn’t want to do.
It’s just sometimes it goes a little too far.
The problem is, when someone else’s life takes president over yours and you don’t give your own interests and hobbies as much focus and enthusiasm as you do theirs.
So from time to time i’ve found myself in this place. I become so submerged in their wold, I can’t remember what I like to do for myself. I’ve lost friends, given up hobbies and even quit jobs, all in the interest of the relationship.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not a push over, no one made me do it, it’s always been my own choice and it’s always felt so good in the moment. It’s only when I’ve had the time and space to step back and ask what exactly do I do for myself? That I’ve realise, somewhere along the line, I forgot about me.
I don’t want to say no to new things or not get involved in a partners life, just because I didn’t suggested it. There has to be a way we can meet in the middle?
Are we afraid of looking selfish, or saying no? Or is it that I genuinely don’t mind what we do? When I’ve been single I’ve had no issues coming up with great things to do. It just seems, as soon as I’m in a relationship I throw them away.
Is it possible to have balance and maintaining the things we love as well as being present in someone else’s life?
I guess the first step is identifying the things you love. I’ve never been hard core at anything and I don’t have a hobby that takes over my life and demand every weekend. Perhaps if I did the boundaries would be easier to maintain. But I don’t, I like going for breakfast with my friends and writing my blog, which seem to be easily shifted to make space for other things.
But it shouldn’t matter what the activities are that we love to do, the important thing is that we do them for the right reasons. And that reason is you.
Maintaining your sense of self doesn’t have to be a grand gesture of independence, it can be as simple as your morning run, drinks with friends or taking your partner to see a play.
Remember what makes you shine and keep on doing it!