I’d never felt more in touch with myself than I did right then.
In that moment, as I stuffed very few belongings into the worlds smallest bag, I knew I was doing the right thing. This trip to me, was a celebration of what I’d achieved, not an attempt to find myself.
If anything I wanted to get lost.
Over the last 6 months I’d had control over every element in my life. I knew what I needed to do to feel great and how much I could get away with before I felt bad. I had exactly the right amount of sleep and just enough late nights to convince myself I was having fun.
I was in control of my diet and in the best shape I’d ever been.
I was bored!
Maybe I was trying to find myself after all.
Whatever it was, it worked.
I felt amazing, with as much time and space to do whatever I wanted, I came home feeling fully charged and totally in touch with myself.
The only problem is, one year on and i’m in need of a little boost, and taking off round the world isn’t an option this time.
Perhaps it’s easy to make yourself happy when you’re only priority is making yourself happy. But how do you maintain that level of selfishness when everyday life gets in the way?
As I think back to that time, I picture myself there. I remember the smells and imagine myself walking the street and exploring. I remember how proud I felt for achieving things on my own and the sense of accomplishment I had for just doing something for myself.
Now I bring that feel into my everyday world and wonder, what can I do to have that here?
Everyday is a brand new adventure and you don’t need to pack a bag to experience the life you already have. I’m giving myself permission to explore. To take time away from the everyday, to discover those feelings again.
Making time for you doesn’t need to be as dramatic as booking a round the world trip, it could be as simple as a weekly ritual of taking a walk alone, getting your nails done or reading a book. The trick is just remembering to doing it.