I read somewhere, that when you feel uncomfortable in yourself, it means you’re changing.
Not just mentally, but your physical make up is changing too.
Changing the way you see things and the way you deal with them.
However, as I sat there, sounded by drills and jack hammers, in the knowledge that everyone had complained about the noise, I felt uncomfortable beyond words.
There was no sign of positive change here. I just wanted to escape.
I’ve felt this feeling before.
Sat at my desk in a new job, stress rising through my body, as I wondered if the shame of simply saying I didn’t know what to do, would out way the shame of running away.
“I can’t do this, I can’t do this” echoes through my head.
But you don’t run away, we sit there in the uncomfortableness and muddle through the awkward moments.
After all, you really can’t just walk out on the first day in a new job, or run away from angry neighbors.
And so, for whatever reason I stuck it out and experienced the uncomfortableness. It lingered around me for a while, and plays on repeat in my head while laying in bed.
But now, with the passing of time and the wonder of hindsight, I can say experiencing those feelings wasn’t so bad after all. In fact, it did me good.
I grew, I’m stronger, a little wiser and next time I feel that uncomfortable knot start to tie in the bottom of my stomach, I’ll remember it doesn’t have to last.